Dating: The DOs and DONTs

If you’ve read our last article DATING: WHERE TO START, you’ll want to take the next step and read our DOs and DONTs. These tips will help you on your first steps into the world of dating.

DO:

  • Be yourself. The right person will admire you for who you are. Also, make sure you know yourself and know what you want from a partner before you go looking for love. If you are wanting a long term relationship, tell them from the start. Don’t waste your time or theirs. 
  • Love yourself. “How can you expect others to love you, if you don’t love yourself”.
  • Have confidence in yourself, even if you pretend. Make the first move.
  • If you are going on a date with someone you’ve met online, make sure you read their profile so that you have personal questions to ask them about their hobbies, profession, friends, favourites etc. Show that you are interested in them.
  • Dates are supposed to be fun, so make sure you have a laugh with one another. Maybe do a spot of people-watching and joke at other’s silly behaviour?
  • Be friendly and happy, this will give out positive vibes.
  • Listen to your date. Make effort and ask questions about the topic they are talking about. Pay attention!
  • Ask if friend’s know of any single lesbian ladies. Blind dates can be fun.
  • Flirt. A little bit of flirting is always a must on the first date. Don’t go overboard though.
  • Make eye contact.
  • Casual touch. Lightly touching her upper arm can be a warming and positive.
  • Make a list of ideas of what you can do on your date, although sometimes sticking to the basics can work a treat.
  • Have positive body language. For example, if you are sat at a table, lean in whilst talking. Don’t slump back and seem un-interested.
  • Make sure you are both ready to meet up with each other. There is no rush.
  • Dress as yourself. Of course, don’t wear the same clothes you have been wearing for the past week, you have to make some sort of effort. Wear something that you feel comfortable in, you don’t need to go over the top.
  • Chivalry is not dead. Open a few doors for her or offer buy her some drinks or dinner.

DONT:

  • Pretend to be someone you aren’t. This will bite you on the ass as the dates go on. If it turns into something serious you might have to own up to not being yourself. This could get messy in the long run.
  • Assume they are going to be “the one”. This will set you up for heartache. Nobody is perfect so set out a list of the qualities you want in your partner and be open to what they have to offer.
  • Limit your search. Don’t dismiss the next girl that comes into your life just because she doesn’t like your favourite sport.
  • Dress too sexy. Leave some things for the imagination.
  • Drink yourself silly, have only a couple of drinks to calm your nerves.
  • Forget your manners.
  • Talk about your ex or previous dates. This will put them off completely. They don’t want to hear about them. If they ask you anything about any ex’s or previous dates just answer with minimal details. Don’t refer back to them in every topic.
  • Have your phone out, this will tempt you to look at it. This is a rude and ignorant gesture even with friends, put it away!
  • If the first date didn’t live up to your expectations, but you really liked her and vice versa, don’t give up. Go for another. They may have just been a bit shy to start off with and will open up a bit more on the second date.
  • Constantly talk about yourself. Make sure you are asking her just as many questions as she is asking you.
  • Stare at other girls. You are on a date with that girl only, make her feel like she is the only person you are interested in.
  • Think that you have to go the whole way on the first date. There is plenty of time for that later.

I think the most important point here is being yourself. There is a reason she started talking to you in the first place; she likes you for you. It’s also important to constantly keep thinking “this is a first date”, it’s meant to be fun and nothing serious. If you end up just being friends then that’s cool and don’t be disheartened if things don’t work out and you don’t go for a second date. It’s her loss, there are plenty of girls out there who are more suited for you.

If you have anything to add to this then don’t forget to leave us comments below or tweet us @lovethelesbianl

FH & ST

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